Why I Stopped and Started Drinking the Dating Advice Kool-aid Again

Why I Stopped and Started Drinking the Dating Advice Kool-aid Again

Originally published on idontdoclubs.com on May 21, 2013.

The year was 2009. I had been a Big Apple resident for just under two years and was working at Bridal Guide Magazine (go figure) as a web producer. Oh and I was single. During one of my almost daily phone calls with my mother she asked, “Have you read that new Steve Harvey dating book?” I remember giving her a side eye and eye roll then calmly answering, “No.” A few days later I received a package at work and of course it was Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man from dear old mom. * sigh *

Before then I had never read a dating book. Sure you’d catch me reading a Cosmo article on “Ten Ways to Satisfy Your Man” but that’s about it. As a courtesy to mom, I decided to read comedian Steve Harvey’s take on dating.

It wasn’t a bad book and I agreed with a lot of what he had to say… and I began telling anyone who would listen. Yes friends, I was officially drinking the relationship advice from non-relationship experts Kool-aid. From that moment on, I would read any and everything about why successful Black women were single and what WE had to do to fix it because it’s never the Black men’s fault. <— That last line was laced with sarcasm in its purest form. I even subscribed to a popular dating blog run by Black single men to learn how to “fix me.” Then one fateful day, this BLACK blog (and no I won’t name names) ran a story about why non-Black women are easier and better to date then BLACK women. I. WAS. LIVID! I went straight to Twitter to confront the writer. We had a war of words. It got bad y’all. So bad that another writer from the site contacted me and apologized for putting pageviews over the welfare of Black women. Even though I felt justified in my actions, I was disappointed that I let this Steve Harvey wannabe rile me up. I stopped drinking the non-relationship expert Kool-aid cold turkey.

Fast forward to 2013 in my I Don’t Do Clubs inbox, I received an email about reading and promoting HowAboutWe.com’s book, Modern Dating: A Field Guide. A slight chill went up my spine. I was happy to be selected out of millions of bloggers but I would never want to steer my readers in the wrong direction. I decided to read the book first and then decide if it was right for IDDCers… and it was!

The book is beautifully-designed with how-to’s, infographic, charts and guest-posts. From pre-date Googling stalking, to splitting the check, to the art of the sext and taking a sexy selfi – Modern Dating: A Field Guide guides readers through all the triumphs and pitfalls of what dating is actually like in the 21st century.

Readers will discover:

*Seventy out-of-the-box date ideas.

*A fascinating infograph on the evolution of dating from the 1100s to present—do you know what era condoms first existed and what they were made of? Or the era that ushered in the phrases “going steady” and “long term”?

*Funny and useful flowcharts, such as “Can We Be Friends With Benefits?” and “Should I Ask Him Out?”

Not sure when to text after a date? Trying to find the right online dating profile picture? Found out that the guy you really like is terrible in bed? Modern Dating: A Field Guide is an encouraging, and practical resource for women at all stages of the dating game. Whether you’re single and looking to sow some wild oats, casually dating, or really ready to find a serious relationship, the tips, anecdotes, and stories will help ease the frustrations of dating.

Modern Dating: A Field Guide is giving away three free months on online dating site howaboutwe.com with purchase (a $54 value)! To redeem this offer visit, amazon.com/Modern-Dating-A-Field-Guide.

Completely sold now? Good. Now go get Modern Dating: A Field Guide and tell them Genese Jamilah sent you!

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. However, all thoughts and opinions are my own.